I have this obsessions with jeans. I believe that a pair of good jeans could take you anywhere, even when you’re wearing the most hideous flip flops.

Manja Maktin.

Had a lunch date with Ira, last week, before going for fieldwork at the islands.

And the same night had a dinner date.

‘I don’t want people to matter to me too much. Sometimes it hurts too much to think about them. Ones you love who don’t love you, ones who are dead or hate you, ones who you think about but never get to be with. I like people but when I get too close, it fucks me up and I can’t get things done.’ - Henry Rollins

Relatable?
Yes? No?

Happy Teacher’s Day.

I’m going to have to re-think.
And I should really, really start to listen to what Nyein and Hatta have been telling me.

Argghh. I think I must’ve spent too much time with them boys -.-”

But really, I should think.

Ohh on a side note, just got back from fieldwork to Kota Tinggi, Pulau Babi Tengah, Pulau Babi Hujung and Pulau Babi Besar. The islands, as always, never fail to keep me calm and completely at ease, but the fieldwork occupied most of the time, I don’t even get the chance to reaaaally immerse myself with the islands’s majestic air. What a waste. Aihh.

But altogether it was fun.

Away for the weekend.

Out. Out. And. Away.
Adieu.

How could I leave these guys? Hehe

If you’re not going to make an effort, I won’t too.

It’s getting tiring.

Ps; I’d like to tell more about last week, how twisted it was. How confusing it was. But later, maybe later.

Jika sudah yakin– maka jangan dilayan lagi bisikan-bisikan umpamanya mungkin akan menyesal, atau nanti begitu atau begini, kerana semua itu sebenarnya adalah helah daripada Syaitan.

Dr. M : Fatin nak pergi aku tak boleh halang. Kalau kau nak pergi pun, aku tak boleh halang. Siapa siapa nak pergi pun aku tak boleh halang.

Let me just write the time and date in which I write this; precisely at 10.20pm, May 1st 2012.
I could totally imagine his tone and facial expression while uttering those words. And like Hatta had said, he’d never said that to me. Not in front of me, at least. And it seems like Dr had mentioned the same thing to Abang Farid too.

I know, I’m that ungrateful bitch who keeps letting people down.

Before I keep on my rants about what this whole thing was about, let me just tell you what was it that leads to above dialogue involving me.

But for now, I’m short on time. And internet connection.
And life changing events are happening so quickly, I don’t have chance to digest anything.
Life is hard. Yes? No? Or was it me that is making things hard for myself. I used to know what I want. But now I don’t, anymore. And on top of that, I hate letting people down. I despise myself. I hate myself. Yes, there I said it. I hate myself for doing this to people I cared, and respected. And I hate myself for giving in to things that I know I wouldn’t want for the next 10, to fifteen years from now.